nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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