wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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