I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
