Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
