I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
