It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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