I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Shitshow foam night was such a success
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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