Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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