Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
