I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
