You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize