he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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