handjob tips. give me some.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
