i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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