ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
handjob tips. give me some.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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