I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
