dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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