This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
