So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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