the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
