I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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