D3 body, D1 cock
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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