he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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