does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
