i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
