somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
