I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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