soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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