You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
