Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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