just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
