It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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