i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
