I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize