my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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