So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
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I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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