honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
