a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
