My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize