i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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