She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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