I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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