ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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