Yo dont text me then not text me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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