They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
