I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
