do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
