Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So many bounce houses so little time
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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