She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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