wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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