I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
