I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
