you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
