weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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