Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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