It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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