They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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