i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
