Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
