What did we do last night that was yellow?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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