My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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