Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
