i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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