burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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