Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
